Naija Movies!

Heylo~!

 

What’s everyone been upto? Anyways, I’m still on holidays, and last week i decided to go to visit a family friend. I enjoyed everysingle minute of it! Da best part? I got to watch a Naija movie for the first time in months! I saw:

 

The Price of Fame 1 & 2

 

Police Recruit 1 & 2

 

Woman’s Honour 1 & 2

 

Show me Heaven 1, 2 & 3

 

Yes, I had nothing better to do with my life. Plus i was all depressed with results not being as good as I expected I really needed this. I loved Show me heaven the most ~ I love anything Kate Henshaw. And oh girls, for Woman’s Honour, google Van Vicker… Dude is Fine!!! He’s not that good an actor, but hey we can work on that! I think he’s originally from Ghana but came to Naija to act. By da way, What’s up with Olu Jacob acting evil roles these days? If ya have any latest goss please send it to me 🙂

 

On that note….

 

 

Things we have learnt from Nollywood

I got this in a forwarded message and found it hilarious but true. My thoughts are scribbled in pink 🙂

 

 

1.      

Things we have learnt from Nollywood

 

1.       Every problem you have is spiritual.

~ Yeah, and only da pastor/imam can solve your problems

 

2.       In every romance movie, someone must die.

~ If they don’t die, they’ll either go mad or terminally handicap

 

3.       It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!

~ Amazing! Science at it’s best *rolls eyes*

 

4.       Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.

~ True talk

 

5.       Poisoned food tastes better…

~ Couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂

 

6.       The best way to make money is by visiting a ‘Babalawo’.

~ *sigh* if only it were that easy

 

7.       At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.

~ Hehehe…the concept of Ogbanje

 

8.       There is never an end to your suffering, except death!

~ Yup, anyone seen Dear mother?

 

9.       With a pastor… all things are possible

~ Amen brother, Amen!

 

10.   A movie can be titled anything… such as – the boy is mine, Two rats, Spanner, Calculator.

~ I have more: strength of a woman, who killed my husband, the power of love etc

 

11.   A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not- ‘shelled’, twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics’.

~ hehehe – Stephanie Okereke is so annoying when it comes to this!

 

12.   You are in love… you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is… Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or the best- take her to buy some new ugly clothes.

~ Ah, don’t ya just miss those places?

 

13.   An Igbo movie has been made if…
* You visit a ‘Babalawo’
* A fleet of cars is shown off
* Kanayo ‘O’ Kanayo is in the movie, Pete Edochie is also there too!
* To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult

 

14.   Gun shots and Knock-out sound the same!

~ Exactly! Explains da fact than I’m afraid of knockouts! I have a point there!

 

15.   Most times the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

~ True, I remember not wanting to watch spanner cos it sounded like a mechanic movie – oh how wrong I was!

 

16.   A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following cast actresses;
* Stella Damascus
* Stephanie Okereke
* Genevieve Nnaji
* Omotola Jalade
* Rita Dominic

~ gotta love those girls! forgot to add Chioma chukwuka and Dakore and Kate Henshaw!

 

17.   The police are extremely ‘efficient’ unlike their counterparts in real life…

~ Hehe, *cough cough* they’re not that bad in real life.

 

18.   An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year…

~ Oh my God YES! Rita Dominic and that her Afro hairdo! It’s soo annoying!

 

19.   It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night!

~ hahahaha

 

20.   When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn’t matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!

~ hehe, bullets are mysterious objects.

 

21.   When advertising a movie, you really should shout because… people are deaf?

~ : )

 

22.   When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won’t be able to send your kids to school.

~ Hehehehehe

 

23.   All past scenes are in black and white

~ They have a point there.

 

24.   Future scenes are always ten or twenty years later

~ …and then suddenly the actor/actress changes with no resemblance whatsoever with the previous person.

 

25.   Everyone uses their party dresses and make up even when cooking in the kitchen or sleeping

~ How… err … uncomfortable

 

YouGottaLoveNollywood!!!

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