What I’m about to show you will shock you to the core of your very being. This is what my poor soul has been subjected to. Take this post as a plea from me, the victim of this devastating situation.
I cherish my friends. If you are my friend, I love you no matter what. It takes a lot more than a facebook application to prove my dedication to you people. So, on this note, I am kindly asking please don’t send me any more invitations to add applications. If I see a nice application on your profile I will gladly add it. Why do you have to torture me by sending me all these requests that I’m going to ignore anyway?
Yes you are not seeing double! About 750 requests in 4 weeks! It’s driving me crazy!
Now my precious laptop is possessed and I’m suspecting it’s because of all the clicking I have had to do to ignore add-on application requests.
Group and cause invites are fine and Gifts are always welcome but for the love of God I DON’T WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE
I DON’T WANT TO BE A NINJA!
I DON’T WANT TO BE A WEREWOLF!
I DON’T WANT TO BE A PIRATE!
I DON’T WANT TO BE A ZOMBIE!
I DON’T WANT TO CHOMP PEOPLE
I DON’T NEED YOU TO TELL ME HOW EVIL I AM!
I DON’T WANNA KNOW MY HOROSCOPE!
I DON’T WANT A COOL OR SEXY OR FUN HALLOWEEN!
I DON’T WANT A SPANK OR A KISS AND IF YOU REALLY NEED A HUG THERE’S A GUY WALKING AROUND THE CITY IN A GORILLA SUIT AND A SIGN THAT READS “Free Hugs”! Go get him!
I don’t want anyone to toss me hot potatoes!
I don’t want to know what drug I am!
I don’t want a water fight (If you know me well you’d know I’m terrified of balloons bursting.)
I most certainly don’t want BEER! Hello? MUSLIM here!
I don’t want a “love friend” or a “tickle friend” If you can recall I am quite ticklish and I really FREAK OUT!
I don’t want to know what kind of DRUNK I AM! (Refer to the last two comments!)
I don’t want a baby predictor
I’m not running for facebook president!
I don’t need a computer to decide who my perfect match is!
I don’t want HUMAN PETS!
I already know which Seinfeld character I am! Elaine, duh!
If you wanna gimme an aquarium give me a real one. That will save me about 10 bucks!
I don’t want a fluff friend, been to my flat lately?
I already know my IQ!
I don’t want to know which disaster I am! Disasters devastate people’s lives and you make light of it?
I don’t want a blind date
I done wanna do what the 500 other applications have to offer! Some of them are cruel, rude and vile! Haba ku ji tausayi na mana!
Now I know I’m coming down a bit harsh and I do realise that it’s not entirely your fault. It’s the people that make the applications that highlight all your friends for you and make you click “send” to all of them so they’ll reward you with extra points or free gifts or to increase your rank. So please next time you reach that page where all the names are checked, look for the icon that reads “Fatima Bukar” and kindly uncheck that name. Think of it as gestures to me, as the good deed you have done for that day, you have saved Fatima’s fingers from misery.
P.S: I still love all of you and I will always be there for you people no matter what, but please help me! Save me from Carpal tunnel Syndrome!
Please, please and pretty please
Fatima “helpless” Bukar