Second chances

I just received an SMS from a friend who had gone home for holidays and decided maybe Australia wasn’t the place for her. Despite having crazy friends (like me :P), she was bored, she was lonely and a little bit depressed. I remember being devastated when she first told me and when I spoke to her, it seemed she had already made up her mind and no amount of pleading on my path could change it. I had to make my peace with it and support her no matter what decision she made. On one hand, I was happy that she was handling it the best way possible and wasn’t willing to compromise her mental health for a stupid degree. On the other hand I was devastated, I felt like I had failed her as a friend. Why didn’t I see the warning signs? In retrospect, they were so many! “…I’m tired, I’m sleepy, I don’t want to do anything…” Seriously Fatima! Those are the early signs of major depression!  I have been beating myself up over it for the last 2 months.

Suddenly, I got an SMS from her today saying she was back in Perth! She had changed her mind and was going to complete her degree. Now I am so happy!!! And then I realised how good second chances can be. Had she not given me the scare, I would never have reevaluated our friendship.

Why do we have to suffer a loss to appreciate our blessings? My paternal grandma passed away this summer and now, I feel I should become closer to my maternal grandma because I’m afraid of losing her too. I went through a self-loathing stage after her loss. People said it is normal to wish you could do more when you lose someone so dear to you. But my grandma’s death still haunts me till this day. Out of everyone in the family, I was the one that hadn’t seen her the longest – 2 years. Sure we spoke on the phone a million times, but all that didn’t matter. I hadn’t seen her. Why didn’t I go home last summer? Why did I schedule my trip to see her towards the end of my holiday? *sigh* Anyways, I now realise that I am luckier than other people who do not have any grandparents or even parents!

Why do we have to suffer a loss to appreciate our blessings? My paternal grandma passed away this summer and now, I feel I should become closer to my maternal grandma because I’m afraid of losing her too. I went through a self-loathing stage after her loss. People said it is normal to wish you could do more when you lose someone so dear to you. But my grandma’s death still haunts me till this day. Out of everyone in the family, I was the one that hadn’t seen her the longest – 2 years. Sure we spoke on the phone a million times, but all that didn’t matter. I hadn’t seen her. Why didn’t I go home last summer? Why did I schedule my trip to see her towards the end of my holiday? *sigh* Anyways, I now realise that I am luckier than other people who do not have any grandparents or even parents!

After a major fight in a relationship, you always want to get closer to your partner. After getting a $100 TransPerth train ticket fine last year, I suddenly go everywhere with my smart rider. After failing an assessment at uni, you suddenly work extra hard to make up for it. After locking myself out of my apartment once, I suddenly triple check that my keys are in my bag. After sitting through a lecture on Cardiovascular Diseases, I only want to eat cauliflower! (only lasted 3 weeks though :P). After working 1 week in a psych ward, I’m thankful for my sanity, After working with a patient with Organic Brain Syndrome, I don’t ever, ever, EVER wanna take recreational drugs. So I’m just wondering: As human beings, Do we need to reach an all time low to appreciate a high?

Lot’s of appreciative love

Fatima “I-will-never-ever-do-drugs” Bukar

P.S: I just contradicted myself. Of course I’ll do drugs – it’s my profession… But not recreational drugs! Major difference! I will happily dispense your

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3 Responses to Second chances

  1. Abdulkadir says:

    It is natural for us humans that, we only appreciate what we have after losing it…..

  2. munira says:

    i love the last line.. i will never do drugs again and then of cos u will dispense em.. classic! nice write up!

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